Today it suddenly dawned on me. I have spent almost two years obsessed with making my body look like I didn’t have a baby. Allow me to repeat myself: I have been trying to make it look like I didn’t have a baby. What an insult to American women, my child and myself (I focus on the US because our obsession with the “post-baby bod” is uniquely American).
I have extra pounds I’d like to disappear and have spent roughly 610 days busting my ass at the gym and obsessing in front of the mirror trying to get rid of them. Then I realized: I pushed a baby out of my vagina HEAD FIRST and I’m somehow surprised when my body doesn’t look the same afterwards. I’m trying to ignore the fact that pregnancy, childbirth and post partum – the MOST surprising and grueling thing I’ve ever done physically and emotionally ever happened. And even after gaining 60 pounds, giving birth, looking like a puffy, deflated balloon and losing 50 pounds I’m pretty sure there are still people out there that would want to have sex with me. I’m also pretty sure my husband is one of those people.
This is why I’m waging a war against low-rise jeans. The type of jeans that make your ass crack stick out while simultaneously making you me look like a cottage cheese cupcake (yum). The fact that I’ve been wearing unflattering pants for the better part of a decade – BECAUSE I’VE BEEN TOLD THEY LOOK COOL – is inexcusable. Low-rise jeans only look good on the chronically thin – pre or post baby body. We’re primarily offered a style of pant that not only doesn’t look good, but is also completely inappropriate for 80% of the population (statistic pulled out of my own ass). So know this, fashion machine – when you see me in my moms jeans know that I wear them loud and proud for no man, woman or child shall be subjected to my butt crack unless they are sitting on the back of my toilet.
Am I suggesting that women who haven’t had children should still be obsessing about their weight? ABSOLUTELY NOT. We wear the experiences of our lives figuratively as well as physically and should be embracing our scars at every turn. My body revelation is my own. I am tired of acting like I didn’t have a baby and being angry with my body for being unable to do the same. I’m proud of my son and I’m proud of myself and I plan on recognizing that emotionally as well as physically.