Are you there, Employment? It’s Me, Nicole.

by Nicole Branigan on April 14, 2010 · 0 comments

How to Write your Resume Ala Chelsea Handler Chelsea Handler of Chelsea Lately

Chelsea Handler is my favorite comedian. Her writing rules, her wit is biting and hilarious, she’s not afraid to be herself. Her book My Horizontal Life is a cutting edge, current and honest look at the life of a single woman in the modern age – and sex. Lots of sex. Chelsea Handler is a wonderfully refreshing (albeit somewhat offensive) comedienne, but what can she teach us about writing our resumes?

I recently found myself in the precarious predicament of a vigorous job hunt. Having not updated my resume in a year, I had work to do. Before I sat down to update my one page testimonial to future employers, I sat in front of the mirror, took a long look and asked, “What Would Chelsea Do?”

Be Yourself – If you’ve never made a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet – don’t say you’re fluent in Microsoft Excell! If you spent the last three years “finding yourself” don’t fill your resume with delusions of grandeur. Chelsea Handler owns her promiscuity and owns her love love of booze – own your skill set!


Leave the Weird Stuff Out – Like Ms. Handler says “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” If you collect stickers or were nominated as “Best Dressed” in high school, leave it out of the resume.


Short and Sweet – This is the ultimate resume writing rule! One page – perhaps two if you’ve been in a professional career field for over ten years. But if your resume reads like a novella – no employer is going to take you seriously, or take the time to read it.


No Fuss, No Frills – One of the reasons Chelsea’s comedy (first name basis – we’re good like that) is so effective is because there isn’t extraneous wordage or heavy handed build ups. Her punchlines are to the point, and thusly effective. One of my favorite no fuss set ups includes Chelsea’s bit:

“Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.”

Case in point – when updating your resume keep it short, keep it simple and keep your stickers out of it.

Great News! Blackbird Marketing Blog is currently embracing a freelance career! If you need copywriting and/or copyediting email nicolebranigan@gmail.com

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